This behaviour was repeatedly trivialised and normalised. The lies, deceit, gaslighting, mind games, conditioning, humiliation, belittling and projection, serving as cruel tactics akin to an animal playing with its prey. Some animals do this in order to tire it out before eating it to reduce their risk of injury. Some humans do this just for fun.

Then came the first blow. Within days his mask slipped and I caught a glimpse of the hell that was to come, the sharp, unkind retort blindsided me.

He had a momentary lapse in concentration and forgot which false-self was mine. His quick recovery allowed me to rationalise and excuse the behaviour.

At an altitude of 38,000 feet I realise I have absolutely no idea how I got here. I feel completely numb and surrounded by an infinite void of nothingness.